at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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