i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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