it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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