Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
