Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
