shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
