belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
