Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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