Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
