We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
