so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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