awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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