no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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