I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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