O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
we should paint friendship bongs
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