shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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