I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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