Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
