:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
