why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
