He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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