are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This is not my ceiling
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
