Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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