Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
