I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize