can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
