I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize