They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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