Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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