Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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