Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
