Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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