if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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