brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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