A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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