Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
