I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize