I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
