And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
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so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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