My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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