So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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