no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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