the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
