Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
