Just fell off a train. Bad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize