i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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