According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize