you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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