Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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