i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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