i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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