I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
