That reminds me...we need to get swords
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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