Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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