You're completely useless in the revolution.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
