I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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