it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
