Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
