from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
