You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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