We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
