My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize