Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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