just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
