if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
