When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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