just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
