I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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