Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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